Agent Shawnee

You know what I hate? Florida. So I've decided to share with you all exactly why I detest the state.

If it isn't enough that the state is nearly wiped out by a hurricane every year and everyone just rebuilds their life, the news stories that come out of Florida on top of that?! Either these people are the dumbest people on earth or this is natures way of trying to get rid of them. Or worse... both. Does nature watch the news?

Here are just some highlights from the Florida news in 2009.

1. So I guess a woman was smoking outside her apartment and another woman was not pleased. So picks up a can of Glade aerosol room freshener and sprays the smoking woman's face. Fire+Aerosol=Not great for any party involved.

Click here for the full story

2. A 53 year old woman was sitting on the toilette and got a surprise when a 56 year old woman accidently dropped her gun and shot her right on the can!

Click here for the whole story

3. An 8th grade kid was suspended from riding the bus because he passed gas! How can you suspend someone for farting?! That's like getting fired for have a bladder problem or something.
Click here to read the full story

4. Tiger Woods lives in Florida. Enough said.

5. A woman was at McDonalds and she called 911 three times because they were out of chicken McNuggets and they could not refund her money. A lot of people argue that she may have been in the right because she had already given them her money but any sane person would just settle on something else. If someone really felt the police were needed in this case you can call the police NOT 911! Chicken nuggets are not an emergency! What is really sad is that there was totally a copy cat crime in this one but instead it happened in another awesome state Ohio! A 24 year old woman punched through a drive-thru window because they were out of nuggets. What is WRONG with you people?!

Click here for the 911 story
Click here for Ohio copy cat crime

6. A woman moved out of her boy friends place and returned to get a Pop Tart and her ex would not let her in so she stabbed him. Yes... for a Pop Tart...

Click here for the whole story


7. The face of Shamwow, Vince Shlomi, beat up a hooker that bit him. Of course after paying her a grand or so.

Read the whole story here

So I am not here to offend anyone who lives in Florida (I know some great people from Florida!) but really guys? Can't you get your state under control? Or enlist some alligators and bull sharks to help pick off the dumb ones?


Peace!
♥ Shawnee